Video 23 Apr 13,452 notes

stegosarah:

anepictimelord:

stegosarah:

If you ever feel like you’ve fucked up just remember that a whole TEAM of people designed this cash machine to be 15 inches off the ground and no one along the way thought ‘maybe this has a design flaw’

"Cash machine"

Yes. Here in the UK people call them cash machines, I know that’s an odd concept to get your head around but I think together we can do it

Photo 23 Apr 235,480 notes alythecreator:

swag-pizza-with-extra-yolo:

white boys need to be stopped

my noodle is 7

alythecreator:

swag-pizza-with-extra-yolo:

white boys need to be stopped

my noodle is 7

Video 23 Apr 240,999 notes

(Source: sizvideos)

Photo 23 Apr 5,772 notes tastefullyoffensive:

[gsheedy]
Video 23 Apr 57,572 notes

(Source: the-narddog)

Photo 22 Apr 223,762 notes catsforlivvy:

idratherdreamofjune:

softdespair:

join-they-said:

Russian medical record written in cursive

you say russian and i raise you chinese


*gasp of horror*

OHMYGOD STOP.

catsforlivvy:

idratherdreamofjune:

softdespair:

join-they-said:

Russian medical record written in cursive

you say russian and i raise you chinese

Chinese doctors' handwriting

*gasp of horror*

OHMYGOD STOP.

Video 22 Apr 132,685 notes
Chat 21 Apr 137,054 notes my cousin accidently texted me instead of his wife
  • cousin: guess who's got two thumbs, a dick, and wants to rub himself against you like a tom cat in heat? THIS GUY. [nude picture of said cousin pointing at himself with both thumbs and an erection]
  • cousin: oh fuck oh fuck
  • cousin: broomy oh fuck no don't look shut your eyes
  • me: I NEVER KNEW YOU FELT THIS WAY
  • me: OUR LOVE IS FORBIDDEN BUT STRONG
  • cousin: no please don't
  • me: COME, MY WILD AND YOWLING TOM CAT. COME AND TAKE ME FOR I AM YOURS FOREVER.
  • cousin: I hate you.
via Set Sail.
Text 20 Apr 240,648 notes

super-wolves:

laugh-til-ya-fart:

A man cheats on his girlfriend named Lorraine with a girl named Clearly.

Suddenly, Lorraine died.

At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, “I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone.”

i’m done with this website

Text 20 Apr 76,353 notes

straight-as-a-curly-fry:

komlin:

livingonmusicals:

komlin:

livingonmusicals:

komlin:

livingonmusicals:

ok y’all 

how do i ask a boy out 

roses are red
violets are blue
guess what, my bed
has room for two

OH MY GOD NO

twinkle twinkle little star
we can do it in a car

STOP IT

row, row, row your boat
gently down the stream
merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
i can make you scream

I feel like the last one is verging dangerously into serial killer territory

(Source: bearsnbritts)

Text 20 Apr 406,815 notes

tom-sits-like-a-whore:

reasons to date me

  • no pressure to wear pants in my presence
  • or any clothes at all really
  • but it’s up to you
  • u can be big spoon or little spoon
  • totally your choice
  • i’m always ready to make out
  • aLwaYs
  • also u don’t even have to buy me things just maybe an ice cream cone every once in a while that’s it 
  • i’ll let you lick it though
  • i mean the ice cream cone
  • well not just the ice cream cone
Quote 20 Apr 100,819 notes
Cinderella never asked for a prince. She asked for a night off and a dress.
— Kiera Cass (via maxonshreaves)
Quote 20 Apr 53 notes
My father said that love at first sight should send you running, if you know what’s good for you. It’s your dark pieces having instant recognition with their dark pieces, he says. You’re an idiot if you think it means you’ve met your soul mate. So I was an idiot.
— Deb Caletti, Stay (via like-an-onion)
Video 19 Apr 3 notes

buildinghomesfromwords:

So this is how USNA Baseball does Frozen…

…more like Brozen

xD

Video 18 Apr 129,348 notes

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